Finding Closure
by Follow-The-Firefly
Summary: I've loved you all along, but you don't feel the same. AkuDem. rated T for Teen. oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I hope that this doesn't happen. Since I don't own KH, it probably won't.**

**Hallo! It's Xero! I just got back from the beach today. I started writing this while I was down there. This is my first shot at AkuDem and I'm a little nervous about how this turned out. And this is my first shot writing from Demyx's POV. And I really hope it's not bad. I was playing "What Hurts The Most" from Rascal Flatts in my head and this story sort of fell into place. Let the deadly tale begin!**

I've just returned from a mission in Atlantica. I don't usually mind going to Atlantica on missions, but this one was a pain. Instead of spending my time swimming around in the glorious underwater city, Xemnas had me stalk some boring guy. I mean, how pointless is that? He didn't do anything interesting. Luxord got the good mission, of course. He had to go to the Land of Dragons and burn down a village.

I still don't know why Axel wouldn't be assigned that mission, but who am I to question Xemnas?

I walk into my room and set my sitar against the wall, making sure it doesn't fall to the floor. I know Larxene would want that, but I certainly don't. I'd be left without a weapon and how useful would I be then?

I lay down on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I know I should go find Axel and tell him that I'm back, but I just don't feel like doing anything. He always comes to tell me when he's returned from missions, but I'm so tired I feel like I could sleep for a century.

I know I shouldn't be _that_ exhausted; it's not like I fought Cerberus and Hydra. God, _that_ was an interesting mission. Larxene was mad that she hadn't been the one to torture me to the point of no return. I really can't stand her.

I sigh and grab my sitar from the wall and start to play _Jealous Reverse_. It's a song that Axel introduced to me and I've been hooked onto it ever since then. I'd made it my mission in life to learn how to play this song on the sitar and I'm proud to say that I've done just that.

As I pluck the strings on the sitar, my mind wanders. I don't know why _Jealous Reverse_ always makes me think and it's usually about Axel. Well, I know why I think about Axel when I hear this song. He's the one who got me into this song when he asked me out two years ago.

Everyone said that it wouldn't work out between us. Fire and water never mix, right? Water puts out fire and fire makes water evaporate. Everyone in the Organization always thinks of everyone as controllers of elements. But Axel doesn't think like that. He thinks of everyone else in Organization XIII as people with emotions, with completely goes against what Xemnas tells us. But Axel and I have made our relationship work.

I finish _Jealous Reverse _a few seconds later and my room is filled with silence, which is weird since I'm always playing some sort of music. I'm about to start playing _For The Heart I Once Had_ when I hear a voice coming from my doorway.

"Don't even want to say hi, Demyx?"

I turn to look at the door and find Axel standing in the doorway, grinning manically at me.

"Why do you do that?" I question as he walks over and sits down on the bed.

"You never answered me." Axel is still smiling.

"I was too tired to do much of anything, Axel." I tell him as he kisses my lips.

"Are you still?" Axel asks, his green eyes playful.

"Do you ever stop, honey?" I ask him, allowing him to wrap his arms around me.

"You should know the answer to that, babe." Axel says, kissing me again.

"But you have that mission in Traverse Town tomorrow…" I push him off of my chest, causing him to fall onto his back.

"I don't really care about that." Axel says, looking annoyed that I've ruined his fun. "You've been gone for a week and I won't see you for another week because of this stupid mission."

"But I don't want to have Xemnas give you an early fading." I tell him. "I'll make sure that doesn't happen." Axel says.

"And I'm tired, Axel." I say. "I'll sleep with you if I really get to sleep."

"I guess I can't complain about that." Axel crawls under the covers as I scoot over to make room.

"But no funny stuff, okay?" I swear, I could get lost in his eyes. "I really want to get some sleep."

"Whatever you say." Axel laughs.

"What's so funny?" I frown.

"You." Axel snuggles closer to me.

"And why am I funny?" I'm growing more confused.

"Because you're so cute." Axel looks up at me.

"I'm just cute, Axel?" I smile. "Nothing more?"

"No, you're beautiful when you smile." Axel tells me.

"And you're gorgeous, too." I tell him.

"You're awfully chatty for someone who wants to go to sleep, babe." Axel says to me.

"You're talking to me." I look at him. "What else am I supposed to do?"

"Ignore me." Axel says, resting his head on my shoulder.

"That wouldn't be nice." I say. "You'd be mad at me."

"I was working out with Lexaeus all day, Dem." Axel says. "I'm tired, too."

"Oh, working on your muscles, eh?" I laugh. "You should've moved some of Xigbar's ammo. That would get you muscles in no time."

"I just need to maintain them, not improve them." Axel pulls the covers over his shoulder, covering him up to his head. "I don't want to look _that_ buff. It's disgusting looking."

"Exactly." I say.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" Axel asks.

"But you're talking to me!" I exclaim.

"Shhh." Axel presses his fingers to my lips. "You don't want Larxene in here, do you?"

"No, definitely not." I shake my head, not wanting to face the wrath of the Fury that is Larxene.

"Good night, Demyx." Axel says.

I pause before saying, "'Night, Axel."

* * *

A few weeks after Axel returns, I meet him in Hall of Empty Melodies. He told me that he needs to talk to me about something, but I don't know what it is. Zexion said that it's probably something bad and I hope he's wrong.

I walk into the enormous room and find Axel sitting on the ledge, left foot hanging off the edge as his right knee is pulled up to his chest. When he sees me, there's something strange in his eyes, something that I can't figure out.

"What is it?" I sit down next to him on the ledge.

"Demyx, there's no easy way to tell you what I'm going to say." Axel says.

"What's going on?" I have a feeling I know what he's going to say and I hope to hell that I'm wrong.

"I have to end this." I can hear the regret in Axel's voice.

He doesn't actually say what he's ending, but both of us know exactly what he's talking about.

"Why?" I ask. "Why would you end this, Axel?"

"I just don't feel us going anywhere, Demyx." Axel runs his fingers through his hair. "I think I'm ready to move onto something more serious, but we're still stuck in the same place."

"I've been trying." I tell him.

"I know, babe." Axel says. "That's why I have to do this." He looks at me and says, "I don't want you to have to keep trying so hard at something that's so hard for you to do."

"But I don't want to end this." I say.

"You know I don't want to either." Axel wraps his arm around me. "But it's something that we have to do."

I nod silently, unable to say anything. I always knew that these good times couldn't last. Happiness doesn't last forever; it's one of the things that Axel taught me. Even though I knew it would eventually end, I always hoped that our relationship would last forever. But nothing lasts an eternity.

* * *

Axel's break-up with me leaves me feeling like there's nothing left in life. I mean, how do you go on after your boyfriend dumps you?

I could tell that Axel wanted to get more serious. That's why I kept trying so hard, but I never seemed to get it right. I wanted more than anything to get it right, but I just couldn't do it.

I didn't do much after Axel broke up with me. Xemnas had him go to Wonderland on a mission, so he wasn't around that much. Maybe Axel had requested the mission to give me some space after the break-up.

Maybe it was a good thing that Axel wasn't around me. It gave me a chance to realize that it was really over, that those amazing two years had ended.

But, thinking that only made me wonder if that was his real reason for breaking up with me. Axel has never lied to me before. Why would he start now? Unless he wanted to break it to me gently…

No. That would never happen. As annoying as it is sometimes, Axel is always straightforward. If he wants to say something, he doesn't take shortcuts. He doesn't skate around the subject; he comes at it head on like he's hitting it with Saix's claymore.

But I don't say anything. Axel must have his reasons for ending it with me and he probably won't tell me why if I ask him.

A few weeks later, Xemnas shows up with a blonde kid from Twilight Town. Roxas. Apparently he's the Nobody of Sora, the Keyblade Master. And Roxas looks a hell of a lot like Sora.

Xemnas told me and Axel to be Roxas' "partners", so to speak. You know, make sure he doesn't fall victim to one of Luxord's card traps or get shot by one of Xigbar's gun arrows. I don't think Xigbar would do such a thing. He really took to Roxas when he showed up.

Axel really took to him, too. They hang out together all the time, even when they don't go on missions. It's really strange the way they act around each other. Axel is more, I dunno, flirty around him and Roxas seems a lot shyer around him than he is with everyone else.

At least I know the reason for that now. It all became obvious when Axel asked him out and Roxas said yes.

I'm really mad about the whole thing. How could Axel just hook up with Roxas as soon as he's ended our relationship? Don't the last two years mean anything to him? Don't _I _mean anything to him?

What's even worse is that I think I've found someone else I want to be with. For some reason, being around Zexion has made me extremely nervous. I feel _exactly_ like I used to when I was falling for Axel.

The thing is, I don't want to fall for Zexion. Well, I do and I don't. He doesn't have a boyfriend, but I know he's gay, which is always a plus. He's über smart and I guess he would be since he reads all day long. Plus he's cute. Who doesn't want a cute boyfriend?

But at the same time, I don't want to fall for him. I'm still in love with Axel. I still find myself wanting to get back with him even though it's clearly over. And it's definitely over since Axel has Roxas for a boyfriend.

As I sit in my room one night playing _Ain't Afraid To Die_ on my sitar, my mind is filled with thoughts. Not just from translating the song from Japanese to English, but thoughts of my relationship with Axel. Well, my _former_ relationship with Axel.

I could understand if Axel asked Roxas out a few years after we'd broken up. That's understandable. But a few weeks? It's almost as if Axel knew Roxas was going to become part of Organization XIII. But there's no way that Axel would know that.

Even though it's over, I still have to know that there was something I could have done. I feel like it was my fault that our relationship ended. I just can't sit around and do nothing when there's so much more that I have to say.

* * *

I tell Axel to meet me in the Brink of Despair. I know it's a weird meeting place, but I want to be someplace where I know we won't be overheard. Naught's Approach is useless because Saix is cleaning his claymore. Naught's Skyway is pointless, too, since Marluxia and Xigbar are having a race again. And I can never talk to anyone in Fragment Crossing because that's where Vexen experiments on his insane Heartless. So the Brink of Despair is really the only place I have left.

When I finally reach our meeting place, I find Axel leaning against the wall, his peridot eyes facing the night sky. I don't see any emotion in them, which is rare for him.

"What's going on, Demyx?" Axel asks when he sees me.

"I need to talk to you." I tell him as we both sink down to the floor, leaning against the wall.

"About what?" Axel asks.

"Your relationship with Roxas." I say. "And why you ended it with me."

"I've been waiting for this." Axel grimaces, running his fingers through his hair.

"Did you break up with me so you could go out with Roxas?" I ask him.

"Dem, I broke up with you weeks before I'd even _heard_ of Roxas." Axel says.

"That's what I thought." I say quietly.

"What else is there?" Axel asks. "You hardly ever have just one thing to say."

"Well, how can you just get with Roxas when we'd just broken up?" I wonder. "Didn't you feel like it was wrong?"

"I felt absolutely horrible after we broke up." Axel says, his green eyes on me. "The whole time I was in Wonderland, I kept thinking about you and wondering if I'd done the right thing."

"Did you?" I ask.

"I think I did." Axel nods slowly.

"How can you say that?!" I exclaim, my eyes widening in horror. "Did you _see_ how I was after we ended it?!"

"Yeah. You look so much better now than we did when we were going out, Demyx." Axel wraps his arm around me. "You always said that you loved being my boyfriend, but I know that it was hard for you."

"No, it wasn't." I tell him, running my fingers through my Mohawk.

"Towards the end, it was." Axel says. "It was painfully obvious, Demyx."

"I was only…" I start to say.

"I know." Axel cuts me off. "You don't have to explain."

"But I…" I try to say.

"Demyx." Axel says, looking in my eyes. "You know that I absolutely loved going out with you."

"But now you love Roxas." I say, making sure the accusation is obvious in my voice.

"I feel like I can connect more with him." Axel explains. "Roxas is my everything, Demyx."

"I guess I'm just going to have to accept that, aren't I?" I say.

"Hey, look on the bright side." Axel says.

"There's a bright side?" I raise my eyebrow.

"I know you'll find someone better for a boyfriend." Axel nods. "I wasn't a very good boyfriend."

"Yes, you were." I smile. "You were an amazing boyfriend."

"So are we okay now?" Axel asks.

"I guess." I nod.

"No, you're not." Axel's always been able to tell if something's up. "What's going on, Demyx?"

After much debate in my head, I finally tell him, "I think I've found someone else."

"Really, Demyx?" Axel's surprised by my words. "Who?"

I hesitate before saying, "Zexion."

"Seriously?" Axel's eyes widen in surprise. "Well, what's stopping you?"

"I don't know if I've gotten over you yet." I say.

"Go for it, Demyx." Axel tells me. "He's definitely a good boyfriend for you."

"You don't care?" I ask.

"I'd care if you ignored him completely." Axel says. "If you don't ask him out, then I'll do it for you."

"Oh no, you don't!" I exclaim.

It's then that I know that everything's okay. I've found the closure that I was looking for. And maybe I can finally forget about dating Axel.

**I really hope this wasn't too bad...Like I said, this is my first time writing AkuDem. I'm such a hardcore AkuRoku fan that write Axel or Roxas with anyone else is almost traumatizing. Reviews equal love! thanks for reading!**


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